Continuing with Meredith and Karen to chapter 11 and 12 in Tedd Tripp’s book Shepherding A Child’s Heart.
Chapter 11, Embracing Biblical Methods: The Rod
This is a long Chapter and there is a lot here. Mr. Tripp spends a lot of time laying the biblical groundwork for basis of using the rod or spanking. He then discusses the some of the objection and misuses of using the rod, as well as the fruit. The use of the rod or spanking is a subject that many, even those in the church, take issue with. It is not necessarily new to me. Most of what he has written I have read and hashed-out before so I am not going to take the time to go through all of the arguments for or against spanking. I believe we use the rod consciously and appropriately and will continue to do so. I have seen the fruits in my kids. What has impacted me most from this book is the issues of the heart and the presentation of the Gospel to my children in the area of discipline. The last sub-heading in this chapter is “The Best of Both.” The rod and communication are not stand-alone methods.
Mr. Tripp states, “ Your children need to be known and understood- thus rich communications necessary. They also need limits that are clear and correction that is predictable- thus the use of the rod.” They must work together and have equal value. We have lopsided parenting if emphasis is placed to heavily on one or the other. However, Tripp makes reference to Part 2 of the book in which there is some age appropriateness to the when and how of this but that is next week.Hebrews 12:5 and 6,
“You have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you sons: ‘My son do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciples those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accept as his son’.”
Chapter 12, Embracing Biblical Methods: Appeal to the Conscience
At first the idea of appealing the child’s conscience looked very close the emotional manipulation to me. (I hate emotional manipulation by the way.) But as I read further I think I understood. When making an appeal to my child’s conscience the idea is to help them look at the issue at hand in light of their “Godward orientation.” It is not to get them to behave a certain way. Behavior is not the only or main issue. “It is to help them make a sober assessment of themselves as sinners.” God has given us all a conscience and we have the law of God written on our hearts (Rom 2:12-16). Because of this we can help our children see their heart and expose the sin and appeal to their God-given conscience as an adjudicator of right and wrong. It is not to manipulate them into seeing everything our way, but to work with the Holy Spirit, as the Spirit of God convicts their conscience. It is to bring them to an understanding of the mercy of God, who offered Himself as a sacrifice for sinners, in which they are included.
Christian parenting is not to offer a law our children can keep. It is not giving them rules of conduct to help them behave and function in society. Giving them a lesser standard they can keep does not lead them to reliance upon the Lord. Teaching the dependence on their own resources moves them away from Christ. It produces hypocrites who feel proud of themselves because of their ability to keep a “keepable” law. When we aid them to see themselves, to see their inability to keep the law of God; then we have the opportunity to present the gospel to them as well. To appeal to their conscience is to join with the Holy Spirit in His work in our children’s lives.
Spirit of God come and live and move and have your being in our lives.
