Shepherding a Child’s Heart #6

I’m continuing on to chapters nine and ten in Tedd Tripp’s book Shepherding a Child’s Heart. You can checkout Meredith and Karen’s posts on his book as well.

Chapter 9 Embracing Biblical Methods: Types of Communication

In this chapter Mr. Tripp discusses the idea that 80 to 90 percent of parents reduce parenting to three basic elements: rules, correction, and discipline. But he points out that there is “a rich dimension of communication that must lie beneath and support all you say in providing rules, calling your children to account and meting out appropriate discipline.”

He encourages us as parents “to modify our speech to suit the need of the moment” as instructed in 1 Thessalonians 5:14, “Warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.”

Our children have different conditions and different needs. I need to take the time to understand the moment and the child so I can speak appropriately into the situation. Rules, correction and discipline need to be supported. These eight elements are the supports:

Encouragement

Correction

Rebuke

Entreaty

Instruction

Warning

Teaching

Prayer

He goes on to explain and define these in communication. It seemed self-explanatory to me so I’m not taking the time to go over each one. Moving on.

Chapter 10 Embracing Biblical Methods: A Life of Communication

In this chapter Mr. Tripp discusses the cost of communicating with our children. He says our cost is quite high but worth the relationship that comes in the end. It will cost us time and being flexible with our time. We need to make communicating a habit. To take the time to talk to our children when they are ready and want to talk to us. In my life this means quitting my own thoughts to focus on theirs, staying up a little late when I’m tired and answering their questions, turning off the radio on our 40 min. drive to town and walking away from the computer (ouch). I have to say, I enjoy my own space and time. When one starts having babies one quickly realizes these little cuddly creatures invade one’s space. Sweet little newborns are so wonderful that I never minded the time spent. (I also had babies that slept through the night at an early age:) However, the three-year old who shoves her little lips as far as she is capably under the locked bathroom door and yells, “Mommmmyyyyy! Wha’cha do’nin? Mommmmyyyyyy!! I WANT IN!! Mommmmyyyyyyy!!! That once sweet baby has become a “space-invader.” Now there is something demanded from me. What I have seen from this book so far is that I have become weary in well doing. I paid the price with my older kids and now I need to put in the time and pay the price with the next set of children.

I haven’t been perfect in communicating and training my kids, (in fact reading this book has shown me areas of weakness that need work) but with a 13 year old in the house, I have begun to enjoy the pay off. There is a sweet relationship being built with her. I want relationships with all of them.

Lord, help me lay down my life for them just as you laid down your life for me.

…who for the joy set before Him he endured the cross… so that you may not grow weary and lose heart. ~Heb 12:2 and 3

There was another area that Tripp goes over in this chapter about influential authority that was interesting but I’m getting up from this computer going to the Library with the kids. Maybe Karen or Meredith will have something to say about it.