"...but the process of living is an art as well as a science, with strands of love and sorrow and resilience woven into each person's unique tapestry."

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Shepherding a Child's Heart

Meredith, Karen and I will be reading through Shepherding a Child’s Heart (SACH) by Tedd Tripp and posting our comment as we go.

First let me tell you a little about the family. I have been married for 14 years (well, 14 yrs in June) to my husband, Rick. We have five children. Our oldest is our beautiful daughter, “Tee” she just turned 13 on Sunday. Next is our sweet “Em” she will be 11 next month. In the middle we have “Si” also affectionately called “The Boy.” He’s eight years old. Then comes our six years old “Ad” she was our 1st to be born out here in Third World County. And last but certainly not the quietest is “Fee” she’s three. She’s not a baby. “My a big girl.”

We have been very blessed to received great teaching on the family as well as child training. We started early in our marriage with Fugate’s book (I think it's called Child Training or something like that), which we came to realize is a little heavy hand. We listened to some great tapes by a Mennonite minister by the name of Denny Kenaston (also known as Brother Denny). There have been others books along the way. One of the best books we have read is The Family: God’s Weapon for Victory By Robert Andrews. (OK, this is a small plug. The author just happens to be my neighbor and an elder at our church. However, it’s a great book even if you don’t know him personally:)

Being surrounded by great teaching (and a great teacher) and knowing a lot of the principles doesn’t necessarily make great husbands and wives or great parents. Application doesn’t always come easy to me (or my husband.) I always find it rewarding to read (and reread) books as a source of encouragement to not "grow weary in well doing." With a very sweet but very energetic, sometimes wild three year old in the house I definitely get weary. I'm ready for some encouragement.

As I read through the intro of Tripp’s book I felt ready to hear again why am running the race of a parent. Tripp begins with a biblical overview.

"The parenting task is multifaceted. It involves being authorities who are kind, shepherding your children to understanding themselves in God's world and keeping the gospel in clear view so your children can internalize the good news and someday live in mutuality with you as people under God."

He talks of the authority given to us from the Lord to act as God's agent in our children's lives. It is "the servant-leader” authority exemplified by the Lord. Leading comes easy to me. Serving does not, and this always hits me hard. I fall often to using my authority to make my children do what I want instead of being a true servant laying down my life for theirs. God help me.

I desire to shepherd my children by guiding them "to understand of themselves in God's world." Understanding ourselves in God's world always leads to the gospel and the gospel is where it’s at. Tripp says,

“The central focus of parenting is the gospel. You need to direct not simply the behavior of the your children, but the attitudes of their hearts…Therefore, your parenting goals cannot simply be well-behaved children.”

I have seen too many well-behaved kids reject the Lord and their parents. Behavior is important but it's not the goal. When asked if he expected his children to become believers Tripp’s response is, “the gospel is powerful.” He puts his hope in the Lord knowing that it is “the power of the gospel and its suitability to human need, not on a correct formula for producing children who believe.” Yes and Amen.

I'm looking forward to the rest of this book.