This is a continuation of a book study on Shepherding A Childs Heart by Tedd Tripp. I started a few weeks ago along with Meredith and Karen.
Chapter 5, Examining Your Goals and Chapter 6, Reworking Your Goals
The next two chapters really go hand-in-hand. They discuss parenting goals.
Mr. Tripp begins with, “Parents want children to be successful so they can “do well” and live happy, comfortable lives. ...We want them to have adult lives filled with opportunity and unfettered by problems.” This is exactly what I once wanted for my children. Don’t take me wrong. I do want them to be happy, live a comfortable life, full of opportunities and without problems. I want this in my life too. However, this is not the reality of a fallen world. If we make this our bottom-line goal, it will make a goal that is untouchable. That will disappoint them and us in the long run.
Mr. Tripp asks the question, “What general biblical objectives will guide and focus your view of life and therefore your training of your children? What is a worthy Biblical goal?” He finds the answer in the Shorter Catechism
Q. -What is the Chief end of man?
A. -Man’s chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
Mr. Tripp talks about six areas that we as parents take as our goals for our children.
Developing Special Skills
This section is referring to the many, many activities that parents have their children get involved with. He challenges the idea that if your child has an abundance of different skills this will spell success for them. I am total with him in the overabundance of activities that many parents push their children into. When he asked “parents why they put their children in these classes, they explain that it has helped their child’s sense of self-worth.” If the whole goal of the actives is self-worth, He suggests that we are “encouraging pride that comes from a capacity to perform.” However if self-worth is not the goal of these activities than I do not think we are encouraging pride. Pride is in us all. We have a sinful nature. In all activities pride is with us. Well, I know it is my constant companion and a sin I am always confessing. With that in mind, the activities that we have our children involved with provide another place to talk about what stirs in the heart. But again I agree that self-esteem cannot be the goal in extra activities.
Psychological Adjustment
This has to do with the pop psychology of the day. Where “the gurus promise to teach you how to build self-esteem in your children.” He asks, “Have you noticed that no books promise to help produce children who esteem others.” Scripture needs to direct our goals not the thoughts of the day.
Saved Children
This seems like such a noble goal. But he says, “This is a sensitive issue that must be tempered by two facts: 1) you can never know with absolute certainty whether your child is saved. He basis this on Matthew 7:21-23. The heart can deceive itself, thus we should test to see if we are in the faith.
2) A child’s profession of faith in Christ does not change the basic issues of childrearing. They still need to be nurtured. Tenderly encouraged to trust in the Lord not only for salvation, but for daily living as well. He goes on to say, “Repentance and faith are not acts preformed one time to become a Christian. They are the attitudes of the heart toward ourselves and our sin. … Your children must understand what it means to repent, not just “of all my sins” in some generalized way, but of specific sins of heart idolatry.”
Family Worship
This seems to be a big buzzword in some Christian circles. It is one that I find a bit chaffing. Not because family worship is bad but it is not THE goal. It is a means to the goal. Tripp says, “The end is knowing God. A means in reaching that end is family worship.” We have strayed away from “family devotions” because they always end up canned and not relating to anything. As of late, we have just enjoyed talking together about real life situations in our own lives. Relating what the Bible has to say about those situations.
Well-behaved Children
Again, Mr. Tripp discuses the idea that “having well-behaved children is not a worthy goal. It is a great secondary benefit of biblical childrearing, but not a worthy goal in itself.”
Good Education
Good grades and high paying jobs are not a biblical objective, Proverbs 23:4 “Do not wear yourself out to get rich.” Mr. Tripp suggests, “ It is possible to be well educated and still not understand life.” How many people do you know that would fall into that category?
“The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever; therefore, your objective in every context must be to set a set a biblical world-view before your children. …Is there any other goal that is worthy?” This is the goal. “They will “find themselves” as they find Him.” This is what I want in my own life as well as in the lives of my children.
